Big Daddy Love

As a precocious, bright and self-reliant 4-year-old, my daughter often found the confines of our home overwhelming.  She just knew there was more to life than our simple rules and routines.  She  wanted to see the world.  As such, one day she ran away from home.  She didn’t get far; really just down the street.  I remember watching her through the window as she defiantly set out on her journey of no return with her little backpack filled with meager but necessary supplies: her doll, her juice cup and a small morsel to eat.  (Note: we lived on a secluded street in a safe neighborhood with little traffic so I wasn’t fearful for her safety. And though I didn’t let her see me, I followed her and never allowed her out of my sight).

She made it to the end of the street before she sat down on the corner and had a hard cry.  I think the realization of her impulsive decision and the prospect of her utter aloneness in a vast world had caught up to her.  Something in me resisted swooping in to  rescue her too soon.  My heart broke as I watched her wrestle with her anger and defiance regarding the rules; this is what sent her fleeing in the first place, and the enormity of her decision to leave. It wasn’t long before she decided to turn back for home and it was then that I emerged from where I was watching over her. When she saw me, she ran into my arms in tears.  I held her for a long time and assured her of my love. As we slowly walked home together, she said, “Daddy, I’m sorry I ran away. Do you still love me?”

During her flight from me, neither her defiance, rebellion, nor departure ever changed my love and concern for her.  Her behavior didn’t affect my heart toward her.  My love for and commitment to her never changed. Our relationship as parent and child was still in tact, perhaps even strengthened by her decision to run away.  I would follow her!  I would never let her go.

Such was God’s heart toward Israel when they abandoned him.  He compared himself to a father who loves and provides for his child. “When Israel was a child, I loved him as a son and I called my son out of Egypt…. It was I who taught Israel how to walk, leading him along by the hand… I led Israel along with my ropes of kindness and love. I lifted the yoke from his neck and I myself stooped to feed him,” (Hosea 11:1-4). Despite God’s fatherly care for his people, “they rebelled… no matter how much He called out to them,” by running off to follow the ways of the world (v 1-2). They forgot that God had provided for and protected them. “But Israel doesn’t know or even care that it was I who took care of him,” (v 3).  Though they left him and would suffer the consequences of their decisions, God’s Father heart was filled with an unceasing love.  Though he was angry with them,  his judgment would not completely destroy them. “No I will not punish you as much as my burning anger tells me to. I will not completely destroy Israel,” (v 9).  God knew that when the people finally grew sick of their independence and entanglement with evil, and when they clearly understood through experience just how futile and destructive it was to forsake Him,  they would remember God’s care and return to him again. “For someday the people will follow the LORD. I will roar like a lion, and my people will return from the west. Like a flock of birds, they will come from Egypt. Flying like doves, they will return from Assyria. And I will bring them home again,” says the LORD,” (v 10-11).

When we have run away from God and the pain and consequences of our decisions have caught up to us, we may wonder how God could still love us.  But God asks, “Oh, how can I give you up…? How can I let you go? How can I destroy you…? My heart is torn within me, and my compassion overflows… For I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you and I will not come to destroy,” (v 8-9). St. Paul describes God’s unshakeable love this way: “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord,” (Romans 8:38-39 NLT).

Abba’s Child

“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.” (Galatians 4:4-7)

In 1992, I received the most startling, life-changing news I had ever heard. I treasure it to this day, some 21 years later.  The news came during a parish renewal weekend which was focused on the fullness of or baptism in the Holy Spirit. The retreat was led by a group of lay persons from Florida who shared from the scriptures and from their lives as to how God had filled them with the Holy Spirit and given them life and power to be Christ’s witnesses in the world.  When it came time for prayer, I raised my hand, signalling my desire for the Holy Spirit to fill me with his fullness — no more conditions or stipulations from my side — I simply wanted more of him so that my life might be available for whatever purpose he had for me.  God’s power came upon me and within me like a heavy electric blanket of  warmth.

The next day I went for a private prayer session with a team from the church. I received powerful cleansing and inner healing — having previously been a follower of the Grateful Dead and an active drug user — I was keenly aware of my personal sin. When I met Jesus 3 years before at a point of personal crisis, I fled to his salvation.  But I could never shake the dirtiness or unworthiness that I felt.  However, it was on this day, at the end of our time of prayer that God delivered me from deep-seated fear and shame.  It was also when he spoke to my heart for the first time (or perhaps it was the first time I actually heard him).  And what was it that he shared with me?  What good news did he tell me? He said, “You are a child of the light, a son of the Father.”

My heart burst with joy!  No longer an outcast! No longer a hanger-on.  No longer a mere servant! No longer a slave!  No, I was an adopted child of the Lord Most High by virtue of the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  And the Holy Spirit was witnessing to my heart the truth of God to me.  As Galatians 4 says, “Because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”  Such was the experience I had.  I could earnestly and truly cry out “My Father!  My Abba!  My Heavenly Daddy!”  and actually mean it and know that it was true about me and about Him.

This revelation of my adoption as his child changed everything for me.  It changed the way I viewed myself, especially when I sinned.  Now I could come to him and ask his forgiveness knowing that I already belonged to him — there was no more fear that I would cross some line or go too far and be put out of his presence.  It changed the way I viewed God — no longer stern and far off, but intimate and ever-ready to engage with me. Now I knew I could come to him and I would always be heard — he would never be “too busy” for me.  Now I knew that he delighted to pour out his love and blessings upon me not because I had earned them, but simply because he loves me.  Now I no longer had to try to measure up or prove myself to him, I already had his approval.  Now I could pray honestly and with great joy, “Abba, I belong to You!”